Let's Get Physical

I've been remiss to have blogged about everything in baby-obtaining news but not to have described exactly, in excruciating detail, what the pain since my last uterine surgery feels like.  You're just dying to know, right?  So here we go, medication side effects and all.

I think this new medicine, amitriptyline, is helping my pain.  Hold your congratulations until it stands the test of time; I might have jinxed it.  The downside of this med is that it's also making me super drowsy.  I almost didn't make it through a meeting this morning without nodding off.  Not good.

Although I think the medicine is helping some, I still have my moments.  Like right now.  The pain is burning on the surface of my skin on my entire abdomen, from under my ribs downward.  I hadn't experienced burning pain (other than heartburn) before the surgery in March; if you haven't, count yourself lucky.  It's pretty awful.  Sometimes the burning pain radiates up through my chest and pulsates down my arms.  Awesome.

The pain is also unique in that it sometimes feels like hunger.  I'm very well fed these days, thanks to Lyrica making me eat everything in sight, so I don't think I'm actually hungry.  But whenever the burning under my ribs mimics bad hunger, I'll do anything to make it go away.  So I tend to eat, which is not really helping the whole expanding waistline issue.

I'm not a fan of the whole "abdomen on fire" feeling, but I'm afraid to take anything else this afternoon.  Something is making me nauseated and possibly something else is making me drowsy, and I don't want to throw another pill into the mix.  This sucks.  I have another post half-written about gloomy thoughts that come to me when the pain is bad, but that will be a post for another day.

My therapist mentioned at our last appointment that I need to find things to focus on other than the pain.  I quickly let her know that I do this all the time.  Sometimes I get so distracted that I forget why I'm suddenly irate at my husband for forgetting to take out the trash.  Then I check in with the pain and it's bad.  Oh...right.  That's why Mean Wife came out.

I do have some positive news, though.  I have been working out.  For real.  I mean, not any crazy long workouts or anything, but I'm sitting on my bike trainer for 10 minutes per day and actually doing a little pedalling.  I even did a tiny bit of yoga yesterday and my legs are sore today.  Loving the sore muscles.  Have not felt that in a long, long time.

I have bits of other posts written up but can't seem to finish them.  I'm too sleepy.  All I can write about this afternoon is the sensation of pain, meds for pain, and med side effects.  Fascinating, I know.  Are you wondering why you read this far?  :)

And to continue with the litany of medical problems, I'm having a lot of trouble believing that the PT is working.  Yeah, the pain is a bit better now, but it never seems to correlate with how much or how little PT I'm doing.  I took a week or two off and couldn't tell any difference.  I want to think it's the reason I'm improving and that my nerves are learning how to be normal again, but I just can't.  One week until I see the new PT.

Seriously, the burning throughout my entire pelvic region can go away.  Please.