Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Much-needed Update

Hi guys.  Happy new year to you all and I am trying to catch up on your blogs.  My absence was due to a very boring reason:  work.  For the past several months, I have worked like crazy and collapsed in front of the TV at night.  It's been a crappy, unhealthy cycle, and blogging has had to take a backseat.  The especially bummy part is that I'm not sure when work will slow down.

In addition to feeling blahsville about work, my Get a Baby plan is completely stalled.  I am 100% ready to begin adoption proceedings and my husband is not.  I can't make him be ready, and trying to talk to him about it more and more is veering into coercion territory.  I hate that we're in this position; it's a huge strain and I've never felt more at odds with him.  There is so much more to the story that I won't get into here, including his denial that I'm finished with trying for a bio baby.  Please tell me we aren't the only couple who goes through this when deciding to adopt.  I have heard that many couples go through this, but I can't rid myself of this feeling that we're the oddballs.  And that this will never happen for us.

The holidays have really stalled any progress we were making in the adoption direction because we've had so many trips and family visits.  A week with my parents at Thanksgiving, and now we're in the middle of 2.5 weeks of solid family time.  I KNOW.  It's a looong time. 

This month, I'm hoping to meet with three different adoptive couples (with the hubster present, of course, since he needs this more than I do), one of which used instead of an agency.  We're really intrigued by that and want to learn more.

The good news with me is that my pain is getting MUCH better.  I cannot believe the progress I've made in the past few months.  I'm actually getting teary just thinking about it.  I still have good weeks and bad weeks; I'm in the middle of a good one and I've practically been Mary Poppins singing and dancing my way around the house as I entertain my little nieces and nephews.  It's like I'm another person.  I don't really know who this person is, but I like her.

I feel like I have so much more to say, but can't quite put it into words.  I hope to be back here soon and better in touch with you guys.  I've been thinking of you often!