Prediction: I Will Have Pain Tomorrow

After my surgery on 3/9, which I just realized was the ninth time my uterus had undergone an invasive procedure, I was optimistic.  In severe pain, yes, but certain that my pain would get better tomorrow.  Or after the balloon was removed.  Or by my next period. 

I've been at this long enough to realize that tomorrow is not the day that everything will suddenly improve.  I will be in pain tomorrow.  It might be less than today's, or more, but it will be there.

The ever-optimistic part of me gets faked out every morning, though, because I always feel best then.  Following is a typical weekend day.  I experimented a bit with Paint so you'll have to endure my attempts at artwork.  I realize it looks like a 5-year-old drew it.

7 a.m.:  Wake up feeling pretty good.  All I need is some coffee and I'll be raring to go!  I will do productive things like cleaning the floor and washing the dog!!  (had not figured out how to draw thought bubbles yet)

10 a.m.:  I will not be cleaning the floor. 

noon:  ...or washing the dog.  The afternoon is looking bleak, at least for me.  The dog is happy.  And on the upside, I suddenly grew hair.

3 p.m.:  My pain meds are completely inadequate.  Lie around listlessly and complain to my husband.  You can imagine what the stick figure would look like.
6 p.m.:  Dinner and meds revive me somewhat.
10 p.m.: Severe pain.  Must go to sleep to escape for a few hours.

That's pretty much every day.  Well, at least weekend days—a stick person sitting at a desk was too difficult to draw.

The pain has changed locations a lot; it's tricksy like that.  At first the worst area was burning below my ribcage.  Then it became a dull pain lower in my abdomen, and now my entire lower abdomen is on fire.  Lately the burning pain has been so severe that I feel it in the center of my body, where it radiates to weird places, like my lips.  They'll feel like they're pulsating.

This probably sounds very depressing, and it is sometimes.  But I'm ok.  I've found ways to block out the pain and get on with my life.  I'm not always successful, and when it's bad, I step back a bit and take a breather.

I don't want to end on a sad note....how about those Olympics?  So excited that track and field starts today.  I love watching swimming but I love running even more.