Normal Baby, Abnormal Uterus

Normal female.  It's incredible how two little words can bring back the pain of my last loss in such a profound way.  I didn't just have a random procedure that resulted in spotting for weeks on end.  There was a little girl in there.

My D&C was September 9 and we received the karyotype results on the products of conception—normal female—a few weeks after that.  (I confess I hate the phrase "products of conception."  Maybe it's the medically correct term but it's so dehumanizing.)  With normal female results, the cells they tested could have been the mother's instead of the baby's, so they performed an additional test (microarray) for me to see if they could get more info.  Yesterday at an appointment, I found out that the microarray confirmed normal female, so that's what we have to go on right now.

Since the fetal chromosomes didn't provide an explanation for the miscarriage and it's my second loss, we decided to move forward with the standard repeated pregnancy loss blood panel.  It's a good thing I'm getting to be a pro at blood draws.  My vein is a champ, apparently.  The nurse yesterday complemented me on how easily she stuck it and filled 9 vials in record time.  Despite my crappy mood, I was proud of my vein.  My uterus may be inhospitable but my veins are spectacular.

In addition to bloodwork, I had a saline infusion sonogram, or 3D sono for those hip to the lingo.  My doctor had wanted to check out a small septum that comes down from the top of my uterus.  The septum was potentially an issue with my losses or could become an issue later in a pregnancy.  Two other doctors have told me that it's nothing to worry about, that removing it and risking the development of scar tissue isn't worth it.  My current doctor wants to take it out and I'm (somewhat grudgingly) putting my trust in her.  I don't know what else to do at this point.

Going into the 3D sono yesterday, I knew my doctor would likely recommend removing the septum.  What I'd conveniently forgotten is that I will have to take the Pill for a cycle beforehand.  Then there's Christmas, and it turned out the earliest surgery date I could get was 12/30.  Balls. 

Before yesterday, I'd seen my share of uterine issues:  septum, fibroids, and endometrial tissue that migrates out and gloms onto my intestines.  Yesterday I got to add a polyp to the list.  At least the polyp can be removed at the same time as the septum.

I had been dreading the pain of the SHG yesterday but it turned out to be a cinch.  Way worse than the physical pain was the emotional fallout.  It was so hard hearing my doctor say that since the baby was normal, we really need to examine the uterine environment.  It brings back all those post-miscarriage feelings of being betrayed by my body.  The baby was fine, actually beyond fine.  It was a little girl.  Knowing the sex really makes it hit home.  My baby girl was fine but somehow my body screwed up.  Maybe the baby implanted too close to the septum that I had plenty of time to remove before the pregnancy.  Maybe my bloodwork will show some other way my body is screwing up.  It's so hard to forgive your body for letting you down in such a big way.