Remember those "My Most Embarrassing Moment" stories you were forced to write as a kid? At least for "The Person I Admire Most" or "My Best Day Ever," you could come up with something without resorting to lying. If you couldn't think of an embarrassing moment, you were screwed. Did everyone else keep their most embarrassing moments filed away in case they were ever asked?
It turns out the scourge of having an embarrassing moment story at the ready isn't just for kids. At a party recently, some friends started sharing their cute, hilariously awkward embarrassing moments. My husband had everyone doubled over with his story about getting tongue-tied around a pretty realtor in his dating days--he accidentally said he was going to "pick his nose" in another room. Everyone had their funny/cute story ready until the attention shifted to me. Just like in elementary school, I couldn't think of a single embarrassing moment.
If I'd been with a different crowd, specifically a fertility-challenged one, I could have thought of several cringe-worthy moments to share. Infertility is full of embarrassment, and not of the neighborhood party-appropriate "the wave took my swimsuit!" type. We have to get used to spreading our legs for strangers on a regular basis. Maybe mortifying is a better word for it.
One infertility embarrassing moment happened during my first treatment cycle last summer. I was supposed to take letrozole starting on cycle day 3, but what does "day 3" REALLY mean? What about heavy spotting? Heavy spotting for several days? On a Sunday morning that could have been day 3, I paged the reproductive endocrinology fellow. All of the RE fellows at my practice are attractive men in their early 30's--you know, just the people you want to talk to about your period. As I described the bleeding to the hot doctor on call at the time, I had to acknowledge to myself how surreal the experience was. I know, he's a medical professional, but it comes down to the fact that a guy my age was talking to me on a Sunday morning about vaginal crypts.
So, yeah. Not the kind of story you'd share at a party unless all your fellow guests were infertiles. What are your awkward, embarrassing stories about this experience?
During my first pregnancy I went for a 6 week ultrasound. They were short staffed and were heavily behind schedule. The remaining tech was supposed to leave 30 min prior to my appointment but given the mix up, was forced to stay. Given the number of full-bladder ladies, she was trying to be efficient with her time. She gave me an internal ultrasound, without allowing me to change into a gown first. Just dropped my pants and laid on the table. Then, when it was hubby's turn to come in and take a look, she made me hold the dildo cam inside me. Here I was, stripped from the waste down, spread eagle, holding the dildo cam facing the door. When she and hubby returned he got quite the site walking through the door! It looks like I was pleasuring myself to some extent! Definitely very embarrassing - but would have been much worse if someone ELSE had walked through that door by accident!
ReplyDeleteUgh having to tell my boss that I needed to miss a field trip with my students and a parent meeting because I needed a D&C. Seriously, I don't want him thinking about my vagina!
ReplyDeleteI have way too many to post here. One in particular that does stick out is my first bloody ultrasound. Having the dildo cam pushed into me during any time of the month can be embarrassing enough but when its day 3 of my cycle and I'm a heavy bleeder its just embarrassing. They didn't believe how heavy I bled either until I insisted they use the heaviest type of chuck they have to put under my butt.
ReplyDeleteAmanda--OMG, so embarassing. But yeah, at least it was your husband!
ReplyDeleteHRF--UGH.
Rebecca--I haven't had to have a CD3 u/s yet and am dreading the day. Sounds awful.
The REs office is set up weird so I was in the room waiting for the a vag cam U/S and turns out, when they open the door, you can see VERY well through the damn crack. Well, I am sitting there with my front half covered because I never expected anyone to see my ass... Oh wait, they definitely got a full moon whenever that door opened.
ReplyDeleteI am modest and that was the worst thing ever.
I am in for it REAL well when I start my IVF process, huh? hahaha.