Saturday, April 28, 2012

The Good and the Bad

I'll start off with the Good.  I'm so thankful for your thoughtful comments on my last post about knowing when to stop TTC.  I haven't responded to all of them—taking some time to process them and work has been crazy—but I truly appreciate your taking the time to stop by and comment.  The comments warmed my heart.  Hearing from friends I hadn't heard from in a while, reading some of your thoughts about stopping...I'm constantly amazed at the warmth and thoughtfulness of bloggers and other commenters, most of whom I've never met in real life.

A Woman My Age asked if I'd considered alternative therapies for my pain, such as acupuncture.  I did weekly acupuncture sessions for about a month after this surgery.  I got amazing pain relief during the sessions but unfortunately the pain always returned in full force a few minutes after I got up from the table.  I considered continuing the sessions in case they were helping in ways I didn't comprehend.  I asked my main doctors whether I should continue acu treatments; they're both pro-acupuncture in general.  My pain doctor said she expected the pain relief to last beyond the session, and since it wasn't lasting I should stop.  At $90 a session, I was a little relieved.

This week, I'll be starting physical therapy and biofeedback at the recommendation of my pain doctor.  I'm curious to see what PT will recommend.  I don't know much about biofeedback but I'm willing to give it a shot.  In the midst of all of this, I've also been half-heartedly meditating.  My therapist wants me to do it daily but I'm having trouble committing to it.

Also in the Good category is that my RE (reproductive endocrinologist) gave me some good news this week.  She did a regular ultrasound of my unbelievebly screwy uterus and things actually looked good.  Before the most recent surgery, there was a pucker where one side of my uterus seemed unnaturally drawn to the other side.  I think it was scar tissue, adenomyosis, something of that nature.  The pucker is now gone.  I'm breathing a small sigh of relief, not a huge one yet, because the real picture of how I'm healing will be a 3D sonogram.  Not sure when I'll feel good enough to do one.

Which leads me to the Bad.  I'm still feeling shitty.  The pain feels like it's here to stay, regardless of my doctors' reassurances that I will get better someday.  Instead of hurting in the uterine area, it mostly hurts under my ribcage, which totally weirds out my RE.  The pain doc still acts blase (accent over the "e"—don't know how to do them in Blogger) about it all, like she sees uterine surgeries resulting in burning upper abdominal pain all the time.  She increased my gabapentin dose, which seems to be helping already.  She also gave me a great answer to my question about how much activity I should be doing.  She said resting too much was more of a concern than being too active, so I should try to be active within reason.  So that was actually a Good buried within the Bad.  I'm glad to be given the green light to being more active.

Blogging and commenting has had to take back seat lately as projects at work keep piling on.  I'm a medical writer, and I've been lucky lately to be writing about oral hygiene.  Sometimes it's much worse—chronic diseases, diarrhea, or...oral contraceptives.  Fortunately the oral contraceptive project got put on hold because I did not enjoy writing about the magic of conception.

Anyway, I'm here and reading your posts even when I'm not able to comment much.  Hope you're all having a good weekend!


  1. Question for you? Is it the left or right side under your ribcage or both? Have you asked for an abdominal ultra sound? One of my doctors put me in for one and I'll be finding out when they are to schedule it soon. Keep me updated on your pain. I hope it lessens soon.

    1. Uh-oh, hope nothing weird shows up on your u/s. I'm behind on blog reading so I will go get caught up on what's going on with you.

      My pain is on both sides--kinda everwhere from my hips up to my ribcage. My RE keep making sure I don't have GI symptoms or pain on one side because I guess gall bladder disease is a concern.

  2. I am glad that your u/s seemed to be clear. That is great news. I pray that the good keeps rolling in for you. I think of you often.

  3. Lots of good news indeed! I'm glad that the u/s came back with good results and that you've been cleared (and encouraged) for some physical activity.

    I'm so sorry that you're still in pain. It's very unfair and I know many how have lived with chronic pain and wondered if this was going to last for the rest of their lives. It's a scary thought. But, your pain doctor sounds like a good one. And you're doing what you need to do. So I hope that with each passing day, you start to feel a little bit better. And that one day soon, you are pain-free again.

    Hugs to you.

  4. Hey, you! Just wanted to pop by and let you know I was thinking of you. Looks like it has continued to be a rough month. I so feel for you! Love reading your blog. Beautiful petunias and I am envious of your TTC vacation lifestyle. We are trying our second Let/IUI cycle. Just starting TWW. Was such anxious wreck this week, I am taking time to transition to actually being hopeful, though I think I really can be this time vs. last time. Anyway, you mentioned PT wanted to let you know I'm been getting pelvic floor therapy and I think it is helping. I do my at home exercises religiously and go in when I can for abdominal and internal massage. That random lower quadrant pain has not been much of an issue lately. And my last AF required significantly less advil (though I'm not sure if that was from PT or less red meat, or one of the million other things I am trying!). Wonder if this might help you too?
    Wishing you a speedier recovery!

  5. Yayyy for more physical activity and a healing uterus! The latter is really encouraging news!!
    Booo to the pain though. If you have to go through TTA for a while, the least your body could do is stop hurting you and enjoy the break! I hope it starts to ease up on you soon. Thinking of you and sending very gentle hugs.